


Avatar The Last Airbender Crackshots

by Astraporta



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Crack, Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-14
Updated: 2020-04-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:26:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23653810
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Astraporta/pseuds/Astraporta
Summary: Clean ATLA crack, WIP. Better summary coming soon. Multiple crack-shots per chapter, maybe.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 12





	1. Crackdom Begins. Cabbages.

**Author's Note:**

> This is crack. By crack I mean crack. Makes no sense crack. Has no point crack. Insane crack that will leave most confused crack. Crack. Have fun.

"MY CABBAGES!!!" Cabbage Man screamed. They were all on the ground, trampled and not cared for by the ones who had smashed them to a juicy pulp. Cabbage man fell to his knees sobbing. "Ca-a-abbage-e-e-e-e-ss," he choked out.

There, over by that building, one single head of cabbage left intact!

Cabbage Man rushed to his child, crying tears of joy. He hugged his little cabbage and flew away.

He was met by a delegation upon landing.

"Welcome to the land of Cab-azukafrnklergentbupthflurnkiantiflopincshka-bage." a celery stick said.

"Cab-azukafrnklergentbupthflurnkiantiflopincshka-bage!" an eggplant sang.

"Cab-azukafrnklergentbupthflurnkiantiflopincshka-bage" a choir of asparagus joined in.

"You have been given the honor of having a choice. A choice to enter Cab-azukafrnklergentbupthflurnkiantiflopincshka-bage! Make your choice, before the Artichoke king dies." said the onion in front of Cabbage Man.

Stars shone in Cabbage Man's eyes. "Me, a citizen of Cab-azukafrnklergentbupthflurnkiantiflopincshka-bage?"

"Yes." the onion answered solemnly.

Sobbing once more, though not because of any emotion, Cabbage man answered "Yes! Please!"

"Very well, step onto this platform."

Cabbage man stepped onto the platform, his shining cheeks stretched into a wide smile. Immediately, he was beamed up to space. From the window now in front of him, he could see the planets. There was earth, a giant rotting peach, and the sun, a huge pineapple. Then the moon, a great moldy nectarine. But far off in the distance, there was a planet, far more beautiful and vibrant than all the rest. Cab-azukafrnklergentbupthflurnkiantiflopincshka-bage. Cabbage Man began to cry once more.

"Welcome to the Cabfloofship." said a bored voice behind him. "Bye-bye." whatever it was pressed a button and the platform Cabbage Man was standing on began to glow.

Cabbage Man felt his feet, legs, torso, hands, then arms and shoulders all fall away, and hiS head began to morph.

In just one minute, Cabbage Man had achieved all his goals he had ever had for himself. He had ascended to a plain of existence where no man, Cabbage or no, had ever gone before. He was the ultimate, the supreme, the happiest of happies. He had completed his journey in humandome and become more, better. Cabbage Man was no longer a man. He was no longer Cabbage Man. He was simply... Cabbage.

Cabbage Cabbage screeched and hugged his cabbage, then shed copious tears of joy as he was beamed to Cab-azukafrnklergentbupthflurnkiantiflopincshka-bage.

There Cabbage Cabbage lived out the rest of his never-wilting days in Cabbage harmony and peace.

The End.

CABBAGEIKTGLIUOCAILUABBAUGKAAGEEIWILHSLLISHCAUHAIKGAGBAIKUGAIKUGHUGEEECILUGALIUGBBILUGBBIULGAIUGEGGECABBAGE


	2. The Beginning of Nonsense Chaos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My little sister dictated this to me after having written part of it down on paper. I didn't bother with proper grammar, just spelling and punctuation and a tiny bit of editing in the way it's written. I don't know if this makes sense... I'm working on my own version. Yay. Laugh. YOU MUST.

Chapter 1

It was getting late, but Aang just sighed. He looked at the moon. Then he heard a yawn. He gasped. Sokka woke up. Sokka said in a yawning voice, “Is the sun up yet?” Sokka opened his eyes, but gasped when he saw a vision of Aang as a skeleton. “Aang, is that you? Or are you just dead as a skeleton?” “No, Sokka.” “Phew.” Suddenly, they hear the sun say, “COCK-A-DOODLE-DOO!” Suddenly Katara, Toph, and Zuko woke up. They screamed because they saw Sokka and Aang in two skeleton costumes. They saw horses eating grass mixed with pudding. Sokka saw it too. Then they see a Monkey eating bananas and rice and milk and gravy. And then a monkey who has a banana smile. Sokka screamed in laughter and happiness and did a funny dance. Katara says, “Sokka, what are you so afraid of and screaming about?” Sokka says, “I’m so happy and startled from the silliness! Hohuhahaha!” Sokka fell off of Appa and Appa licks Sokka and eats him. Appa swallowed Sokka whole! Then Sokka was swimming in Appa’s stomach, and was squirming and trying to get out. Then Katara was mad at Appa and Aang was so wound up that he SCREAMED in laughter. And then he said “This is gonna be the best April Fool day ever!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anyways...


End file.
